Before we dive into the absolute chaos of this season's first finale episode, let’s take a quick moment to look at the stats. So far, Farmer Wants A Wife has manifested 11 weddings, 12 long-term relationships, and 30 gorgeous farmer babies. Not bad, Channel Seven.
We kicked off tonight with a wholesome update on last year's favourites, Tom and Georgie, giving us a cheeky peek at his creekside picnic proposal. Cut to this season - we started with five farmers, though Farmer Alex (our resident mushroom farmer) already packed his bags and left early with Eddy.
BUT (and there is always a but) the word on the street is they’ve already split, and the paps have apparently spotted Eddy out and about with a new man. Huge if true.
That leaves Farmers Jarrad, Dylan, Zac, and Jason in the finale. To help them decide who they want to leave the season with, it’s time for the hometown visits to meet the families.
Here is how the first half of the finale went down - spoiler warning!
Zac: The Apple Farmer, The Ominous Music, and a Double Life
The Final Two: Maya and Mieke
The Verdict: He chooses Maya
Zac x Maya
Things started pretty slow with Maya, but after a few bumps, these two are smitten and absolutely love a cheeky pash. First up, Zac heads to Melbourne to meet Maya’s family: her dad, Andrew, sister, Isla, and best friend, Ruby.
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They all sat down for a yap over a bottle of red, and at first, it felt a bit like a job interview. Of course, we got the obligatory reality TV moment where the sister and best friend pull the farmer for a chat to ask the hard-hitting questions.
They talked about the long-distance aspect, given she’s in Melbourne and he’s in Adelaide, but the girls reassured him she’s willing to move for love, yada yada yada.
Then, Zac flags that there wasn't an instant spark with Maya. This was so clearly the producers feeding him a talking point so they could play [dark ominous music] over the edit and manufacture some drama. But then the girls asked if he had an initial spark with Mieke…
Reader, this was TEA he was not prepared for. He mumbled his way out of it, saying they started on rocky terms and there may have been a spark, but, yeah. He panicked.
Naturally, the girls report back to Maya that Zac had a better spark with Mieke. Maya is left completely blindsided and questioning everything: "Will the spark be the tipping point for us?"
When Maya and Zac hit the town in Melbourne for their final date, you could tell he was sweating. He was bouncing his leg so hard it looked like it was powering a generator. She asks him point-blank what’s missing and why he feels the spark is lacking.
Zac deflects, saying he likes that they built a friendship first before a romantic connection. Maya lets him know she’s super into him and hopes to be the lucky lady. They have a pash, and then Zac bails out to go live his double life with Mieke.
Zac x Mieke
Next, Zac heads to the Adelaide Hills (literally 20 minutes down the road from his house) to meet Mieke’s family. Mieke was super shy at first, but once they got comfortable, the chemistry was immediate (even though Zac admits he doesn't know her as well as Maya).
He meets her mum, Linda, her dad, and her brother. Zac pulls a bold move and asks for a one-on-one with Linda to get advice on how to make Mieke comfortable.
Meanwhile, Mieke explains to Zac that her hot-and-cold vibe is just a defence mechanism to keep her walls up, but she's working on it. By the end of the date, it all seems peachy keen. They have a good giggle, share a final snog, and wrap up the date.
In the end, though? Maya takes the crown.
Jason: The Dairy Farmer, The Dog, and the Dealbreakers
The Final Two: Logan and Poppy
The Verdict: He chooses Poppy
Jason x Logan
Jason is a dairy farmer with a massive dilemma. Poppy has made it clear she doesn’t want kids, which should be a total dealbreaker because Jason already has two and wants more. Meanwhile, he and Logan (who also has kids) click really well, but his big concern there is the 10-year age gap - he admits there have been times where Logan's youth has made him feel his age lol.
First, he meets Logan’s family; they come in hot with questions, asking him how he compares a future with Logan to a future with Poppy. They even asked how Poppy had gotten this far along given he knows she doesn’t want kids. Cue the ultimate awkward reality TV silence.
Jason x Poppy
But man, Jason just gushes over Poppy. He is smitten as all heck, and it's super cute.
Poppy lives in the thriving metropolis of Ipswich and takes him around town to meet her people. First, he meets her dog, Memphis, who legit looks exactly like Mugatu from Zoolander. Then he meets her mum and a man who is either her brother or an absolute unit of a dad.
Jason voices his concerns about whether Poppy would get bored moving out to Kingaroy, but the fam reassures him she can hold her own. When the kid conversation comes up, Jason says he'd love just one more, and Poppy admits she doesn't know for sure what she wants—it might change, but she obviously can't guarantee anything.
On their final dinner date in Ipswich, they chat about how she’d adjust to property life and step into a stepmother role. Hearing Poppy talk about being part of a team to raise the kids and being a role model has Jason super chuffed. He asks how she feels about him, and she’s just as smitten as all heck.
Despite the kid dilemma, he picks Poppy. Love wins!
The second half of the Farmer Wants A Wife finale airs on Sunday, 19 July on Channel Seven.
